


You can take me where you will

by mermaid



Series: Four seasons in one day [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Community: h50_flashfic, DADT Repeal, First Time, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2011-12-08
Packaged: 2017-10-27 02:36:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermaid/pseuds/mermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As simply and calmly as he can, Danny tells Steve that he's in this for real, not just looking to cross some fantasies off his bucket list. It feels liberating to be explicit about what he wants after hiding it for so, so long. Danny should be more nervous, maybe, but he's <i>done</i> with waiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You can take me where you will

**Author's Note:**

> **Rating / Warnings:** NC-17 for sexual content. Some angst, but with a happy ending.
> 
>  **Spoilers:** up to 1x18, then goes AU. None of the subsequent canonical events, including Jenna's arrival and her revelations about Wo Fat, ever happened.
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This is a sequel to  Even when you're feeling warm and its companion piece The temperature could drop away, and the companion piece to Everything gets turned around. It won't make much sense unless you've read those first.

Danny's never been to the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific before, but it's a stunningly beautiful place. He pulls his car up beside Steve's truck, having made a stop en route and deliberately driven slower than Steve – like that was hard – to give Steve a few minutes alone with his dad.

Except that Steve is still sitting in his truck, apparently waiting for Danny. He seems truly touched by Danny's gesture of bringing flowers, and pleased that he chose a traditional Hawaiian garland instead of a bouquet.

Danny had been tempted to ask the florist for blossoms that signified romantic love, but stuck instead to friendship and respect. They can talk about what's between them later tonight, even if having that conversation with Steve will probably feel like pulling teeth. Right now, it's all about Steve and his father.

He places his lei before the simple grave marker and bows his head, praying that Jack McGarrett is at peace and that he's forgiven his son. He also prays that Steve can forgive himself. Though Steve's never said it out loud, Danny's certain that he feels responsible for his dad's death. It's just one more thing he keeps locked away, beyond Danny's reach.

Then Danny moves away a little, trying to give Steve some room while still being supportive. But when he reaches out, expression sad and strained, Danny immediately goes to his side. It means a lot that Steve wants him here, so he just holds on silently.

Danny feels selfishly glad that he's never had to cope with grief like this. He lost his brother, sure, and he feels guilt over that whole mess – but Matt could still be alive somewhere. Steve has buried both his parents now, each murdered in revenge for another family member's actions. Honestly, it's like something out of the Jersey mob wars.

He leans his head against Steve's chest and closes his eyes, listening to the birdsong and the beating of Steve's heart.

***

They end up at Steve's house, as planned, but things don't go quite as Danny anticipated.

Danny had thought about how things would go if the two of them ever got together, of course. He'd assumed that control freak Steve would try to take the lead in every aspect of their relationship...especially on the sex side of things, once Danny admitted that he'd never even kissed a guy before.

He's surprised to find that the opposite is true.

Steve had held back when they were kissing up on the mountainside, not trying to assert his dominance or up the ante. Danny had figured it was because the petroglyphs were a sacred site and Steve wanted to respect that, or because they were technically in public.

But now they're on Steve's couch, a private and profane space, and Steve is sitting two feet away like he's afraid to let their bodies touch. His face looks weirdly closed-off, his posture defensive.

For a moment, Danny fears that Steve has changed his mind about this – or at least about doing this tonight. But then it dawns on him that it's the other way around. Steve is expecting Danny to have a big freak-out and back away from this whole thing. Or, even worse: maybe Steve is wearing his self-control like a shield because he's afraid of _himself_.

But Danny wants to see Steve relax his guard, wants to make it happen. After chipping away at Steve's defenses for a year, he's broken through only to find a whole other set of walls within. Luckily, Danny is stubborn as hell. He won't give up now, not when he's so close, and he's never been afraid of Steve.

So Danny tells Steve the truth, as simply and calmly as he can. Using words of one syllable, he explains that he's in this for real...not just bi-curious, and not just looking to cross some long-held sexual fantasies off his bucket list. He holds back from saying 'I love you', even though it's true too, because he doesn't know how much emotion Steve can cope with in one day.

It feels liberating to be so explicit about what he wants after hiding it for months. For years, in fact, because until today he'd only ever told Matt and Rachel that he's bisexual. Danny should be more nervous, maybe, but he's fucking done with waiting. One of them has to start this conversation, and Danny seems to be better qualified.

Danny knows, from bitter experience, what can happen if you _don't_ talk. He and Rachel had fallen into bed the night they met. Maybe if they had gotten to know each other better first, they'd have realized that powerful sexual chemistry doesn't magically make a couple compatible. Danny will never regret their marriage, because it gave him Grace, but he's learned his lesson.

He and Steve have had a long and thorough courtship, Christ knows. They've spent most of their waking hours together for the last three hundred and sixty-one days, and have seen the best and worst of each other. It seems like a solid foundation for something lasting, something real. Now Danny just has to convince Steve that they have a chance.

When Danny finishes his spiel, Steve looks kind of dazed but not unhappy. Hesitantly, he admits that he's never been romantically involved with another man. That's not actually a huge surprise to Danny; he figures that Steve valued his Navy career too highly to jeopardize it.

Damn the Pentagon anyway for making Steve – stupidly brave in every other respect – so anxious about a relationship between two consenting adults. But by pure coincidence, today marks the official end of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. Danny points this out, and feels Steve relax a little more beside him.

Their heart-to-heart over, at least for now, Danny sends Steve for a much-needed shower.

With time to kill before their food gets delivered, Danny calls Grace. She chats away about her day, as usual. He gives her some selective highlights of his hike up the mountain, deciding to postpone his announcement about Steve until they're face-to-face.

Gracie's private tutor is teaching her about Hawaiian wildlife at the moment, so she's able to name the birds he saw just from his vague descriptions. God, his little girl is smart...it blows Danny's mind that she knows so much already, but he does wonder if Rachel is pushing her too hard. When he mentions the petroglyph of a turtle, though, Grace's laugh is full of reassuringly childish delight.

He hears Rachel in the background, saying dinner's ready, so Danny tells Gracie he loves her and hangs up. Sinking back into the comfortable couch, he contemplates the weekend ahead. Danny's non-custodial weekends are usually pretty quiet, unless one of his teammates – usually Steve – gets him out of the apartment.

Now Danny's selfishly glad that his schedule is wide open for the next two days. He's got nothing to do but Steve.

***

The delivery guy arrives, bearing Chinese food that makes Danny's mouth water. Steve comes downstairs wearing stretch cotton pants that show off his ass beautifully, unlike his usual cargos. He wonders if Steve just wants to be comfortable tonight, or if he's trying to get Danny's attention. Christ, doesn't he realize that Danny's on the hook already?

They sit down to eat, and Steve suggests they watch football. Danny doesn't object – they were working during the big game last week, and he's been too busy to catch a re-broadcast. Anyway, he gets the impression that Steve wants a mindless distraction after the rollercoaster of a day he's had.

When Notre Dame achieve their well-deserved win at last, Steve turns to Danny and kisses him. It's good, really good, with none of his earlier hesitance. Danny's looking forward to a seriously hot make-out session on this couch, and maybe even more, but then Steve's phone rings.

It's Mary, calling from Los Angeles. Danny knows the two of them need to talk, today of all days, so he hides his frustration and heads upstairs to take a shower.

Danny grabs a spare towel, and uses Steve's body wash and shampoo. His hair will look like crap after, without any product, but he hardly thinks Steve will care. That's one of the advantages to being work partners before becoming...whatever they're becoming. Steve has already seen Danny covered with blood, mud, and worse, and yet apparently still wants him. Limp, flat hair won't be a deal-breaker.

This isn't the first time he's showered at Steve's, of course. They've stopped off here on some of Five-0's longer, busier days, to get cleaned up and grab a bite to eat before diving back into their case. And there have been nights when Danny's been too drunk to drive home, and has slept it off in Steve's spare room.

There are some things you shouldn't do at a friend's place, Danny figures, and jerking off is top of the list. He's always managed to control himself here, before. But he nearly came in his pants earlier today, simply from kissing Steve, and his cock is already rising just from the memory. The only way Danny can avoid making a fool of himself tonight is to let off some steam now.

So he reaches down and strokes himself to full hardness, imagining that it's Steve touching him. Steve's gun calluses would provide the most perfect friction, with his long fingers gripping Danny's cock so tight.

Danny speeds up, remembering that blowjob dream from this morning. Steve could be kneeling at his feet right now, wet and naked and sucking him like a pro. Danny bites his lip, trying to stay quiet, as he comes all over his fist.

He borrows Steve's bathrobe and stops at the door of the spare room. He could raid his stash of clean clothes, but...no. If Danny wants Steve to be absolutely sure about this, about him, showing might be more effective than telling. So, wearing only the robe, he lies down on Steve's bed to wait.

***

The expression on Steve's face when he freezes in the bedroom doorway would be funny, except for the way it makes Danny's stomach flutter like crazy.

Their conversation about Mary turns into a discussion about coming out. Sure, it's something they need to talk about, but this isn't the ideal situation. Steve obviously has some major angst, and Danny is more apprehensive than he lets on; he's dreading the showdown with Ma, for one thing.

But if he has the chance to be with Steve, despite all the odds, then Danny doesn't want to hide his happiness.

Steve just stands there, unresponsive, when Danny suggests that they should either have sex or fall asleep. And shit, maybe Danny's being too pushy. Steve's had one hell of a time recently, and might need some time to process everything. So he backtracks, but Steve clearly doesn't want Danny to leave either.

Being offered a simple choice finally seems to galvanize Steve into action. He comes toward the bed, stripping off his clothes, and Danny's breathless: Steve is just too gorgeous to be real. The sight of his erection makes Danny lick his lips. God, he can't wait to touch and taste it.

That appreciative reaction seems to flip a switch, because Steve pushes Danny back onto the bed and gives him the best kiss of his entire damn life.

 _Finally_ , Danny thinks, reveling in these powerful new sensations – Steve's strong body holding him down, and Steve's big cock pressing against his thigh. Only a quarter hour after coming in the shower, he starts to get hard again. The only reason this situation isn't perfect is that Danny's still wearing this stupid bathrobe. So, desperate to get total skin contact, he pulls his mouth away and asks Steve to wait.

Recoiling like he's been slapped, Steve apologizes with an awful look of shame on his face. Danny's heart sinks...when Steve said that SEALs always expect the worst, he really wasn't kidding.

This one step forwards and two steps backwards thing seriously isn't how Danny expected tonight to go. But he patiently explains that he's more than okay and has no intention of backing out, so can Steve just get on with kissing him already? Though Steve responds like he believes it, Danny decides that it's time for another round of 'show, don't tell'.

He's never found Steve to be particularly responsive to his commands, but gets immediate obedience when he tells Steve to lie on his back. Danny doesn't give him time to think or to worry. He just strips off, and covers Steve's mouth and body with his own.

Having Steve's erection pressed to his bare skin feels _fantastic_ , but having him thrust his hips up when Danny licks his neck is even better. With Danny's encouragement, Steve is getting more responsive by the second. Letting Danny see and hear just how much he's enjoying this is a real sign of trust on his part.

Danny hopes that Steve will stay in the moment, and not let his doubts hold them back.

It's a night of firsts for Danny, after almost two decades of only sleeping with women, and he can't help noting the differences: the rasp of a stubbled jaw against his lips, the small flat nipples tightening at his touch, the wiry chest hair under his fingertips. Danny's watched plenty of gay porn, but having his hands on Steve – who's hotter than any porn star – is better than he could ever have imagined.

Strangely, Steve's nervousness makes Danny more confident. Maybe it's just another aspect of their symbiotic partnership, the way their strengths and weaknesses seem to dovetail. So Danny decides to make the first move southwards, getting his hand lubed up and wrapping it around Steve's erection.

Danny thought he was prepared for how it would feel to jack somebody else off, based on twenty-plus years of masturbation...but _fuck_ , he really wasn't.

Steve's cock is so hot to the touch, hard and yet soft-smooth too, twitching in Danny's grasp as he begins to slide his hand up and down. Since he doesn't know what Steve likes, Danny just tries what he usually does to himself: starting slow then speeding up, twisting his wrist on the upstroke.

Quiet gasps are the only indication of Steve's enjoyment, so Danny does a status check. His face is flushed, his eyes dark. Steve's got his arms crossed under his head, as if he doesn't trust himself to touch Danny without pushing too far. It looks like he's almost too turned on to breathe, and Danny feels reassured.

Steve does manage to answer his question, admitting he's on the verge of coming already. And abruptly, Danny realizes he wants to touch more of Steve's skin first. It's downright greedy of him, and he wouldn't blame Steve for protesting at the delay. But Steve's response suggests that he doesn't want this to be over yet either – and then he spreads his legs, and Danny accepts the invitation.

The reaction when Danny strokes Steve's balls is a revelation. Steve curses, for the first time all night, and writhes as Danny provides the rougher stimulation he seems to crave. Danny enjoys having his balls touched, sure, but this is way beyond.

He loves the thought of finding all Steve's hot zones, the secrets of his body, the way he's been trying to get inside Steve's head all this time.

When Steve begs, honest to God _begs_ Danny to keep moving his hand downwards, it sends a jolt of arousal through Danny. He has to bite the inside of his cheek hard, to stay in control.

The skin around Steve's hole is soft and surprisingly delicate, the muscle underneath quivering and flexing as Danny rubs harder. Getting to touch another guy's ass at last, after years of wondering and wanting...it makes Danny's vision blur as he rests his head on Steve's chest.

Danny could so easily press his lube-slick fingers inside. He has Steve's explicit permission – and maybe Steve would let Danny fuck him, after. He wants to, and he's pretty sure that Steve wants it too.

But having waited so damn long for this, Danny finds himself reluctant to skip straight to the big finale. Just having his hands on Steve's skin is enough for now; more than enough. Christ, Danny's so turned on that simply grinding against Steve's thigh could get him off.

Steve seems uncertain, even disappointed, when he pulls back. So Danny tells him, and shows him, how much enjoyment he's getting out of touching, licking, sucking, and kissing Steve’s body. And Steve just yields to Danny, letting him take control.

Then Danny starts jerking Steve off again, no teasing or messing around now, squeezing his cock tight and pumping it fast. Steve moans into his mouth, a _desperate_ sound, like he's so fucking close but not quite there. So Danny goes back to that spot on Steve's neck, and whispers his desire to watch Steve come.

And that's it: game over. Steve's whole body convulses as he shoots his load across his own belly, with Danny all the while telling him how gorgeous he looks, how much Danny loves touching him, and how he was more than worth the wait.

***

Steve's orgasm looks incredibly intense, like an out-of-body experience. Danny feels proud, yeah, but awed too. _He_ made that happen, made Steve shatter, and he can't wait to do it again.

But Danny just got an inkling of how much power he holds over Steve, and how careful he'll need to be with this gift he's so unexpectedly received.

When Steve returns from wherever he went, Danny can't resist licking come off his thumb. Steve watches him with ill-concealed anxiety...Jesus, does he really think that Danny will call the whole thing off just because of his taste?

Danny's not exactly expecting sugary-sweet, here, and he's relieved when Steve grins and tells him about pineapple improving the flavor. If Steve stopped ribbing him now they're together, Danny would feel oddly lost.

Then Steve offers – no, _asks_ – to blow him, and all the air rushes out of his lungs. Danny grabs a towel from the linen closet, to clean them both up, and feels the hot weight of Steve's gaze on his naked body as he comes back into the room. Nobody has stared at him so hungrily since those early, heady days with Rachel.

Steve pulls a 'Smooth Dog' line on him, then, and Danny is pleased as much as turned on. Steve seems to be relaxing at last, like Danny's actions have convinced him more than all his words did.

And when Steve gets his mouth on Danny's cock...Jesus fucking Christ, it's incredible. He just dives in, swallowing Danny down with wickedly perfect suction. Danny fists his hands at his sides, eyes rolling back in his head and curses spilling from his lips.

Though he tries to keep still, he can't help rocking his hips up just a little. But apparently Steve can take more; _wants_ more. He breaks off from stroking Danny's belly to take hold of his wrists. Danny opens his eyes and sees Steve gazing back at him.

Then Steve lifts Danny's hands up and sets them on top of his head.

Danny accepts the silent order and lets himself go, holding Steve firmly in place and fucking his mouth. Steve makes a sound that's somewhere between pain and pleasure, and his expression...God, it's like he's getting off on this as much as Danny is.

That visual is almost hotter than the physical sensation of Steve sucking him. Danny's head swims, his muscles tense up, and he knows he's about to come. Danny gasps a warning, a chance to pull off, but Steve stays – and fuck, the feeling of him swallowing around the head of Danny's cock is just mindblowing.

Still shaking all over, Danny sinks back against the pillows. Christ, he hasn't come like that for so long.

Once he's recovered a little, he tells Steve that he'd dreamed about getting a blowjob from him just this morning. But Steve looks oddly sad, not flattered. It takes Danny's orgasm-addled brain a few seconds to figure out that he probably had nightmares instead of sex dreams last night.

So Danny threatens Steve with mandatory cuddling, and – after a debate about the definition of coitus – agrees to schedule some ass-fucking for tomorrow.

It's one hell of a strange way for Danny to discuss losing his anal cherry, at the ripe old age of thirty-five. Rachel hadn't been into ass-play, receiving or giving, and it's not something Danny's ever asked of any other woman. But God knows he and Steve have debated everything else, this past year. They'll probably argue about who gets to top...or who gets to top first, at least.

Danny's looking forward to it, either way.

Steve disappears downstairs to lock up, and Danny stretches out. This bed is so big and comfortable, compared to the fold-out sofa at his apartment. He could definitely get used to sleeping here on a regular basis.

When Steve comes back to bed, he doesn't even try to resist Danny's cuddling attack. They lie together in the dark, skin to skin. Though tension gradually leaches from Steve's body, Danny gets the feeling that his brain is still whirring away. He offers to give Steve more space if it'll help him sleep better, and is pleasantly surprised to hear Steve admit he likes being held.

Steve's mind must go somewhere bad, for a moment, because his fingers tighten against Danny's skin like he's afraid Danny will vanish in the night. Danny promises that he'll still be here come morning, and that seems to calm him again.

Within a few minutes Steve is asleep, his breathing deep and his muscles relaxed. Danny stays awake a while longer, loving how it feels to have Steve in his arms. He never expected this, _any_ of this, and it's hard to believe it's real.

He doesn't doubt that things are going to be difficult, from here on out. Steve is all kinds of fucked-up, and has little experience of true intimacy; Danny has a short temper, and plenty of emotional baggage of his own. They already know each other's weak spots, they both play dirty, and they still have to work together every day.

But Danny will do whatever it takes, because Steve is worth fighting for.

***


End file.
